W.W.

a little good news came my way last night to try to cheer me up after a horrible blow on monday. i have reached my 5% weight loss and have lost a total of 11 pounds!! woohoo! i am so excited and can feel the effects of losing weight. like baggy pants and tightening the belt. it is all great. i am not going to go a stray because that would be bad, but i will need some support! so if i call some of you saying i want to eat an entire pizza, say ok is that what you really need?! tough times right now, but i won't take it out on food. more later.

sheets...

why is it even though my bed is near the heat and the covers are covering the bed, that the sheets are so flippin cold when i crawl into bed???? you get all ready to snuggle up and BAM!
-10 degree sheets! now you are wide awake and can't fall asleep until you thaw! after bundeling up you are now sweating to death! what an endless cycle of hot and cold bed sheets!!
(hey, this blog is called random thougths!!)
ta-ta! :)

life.

as i sit here not being able to sleep, i am wondering what is really important to me in life right now. i know for sure that family and friends are number one. that is not even a question. without them it would make anybodies life difficult i think.
my job is going pretty good. i have received a raise and am able to become more involved with Habitat by being on boards and helping with major fundraisers and events. it feels good to be doing what i do and i hope i can do it forever. but it is never going to be full time and there is no room for advancement, so i need to take that into consideration. so i am opting to get a second job in the non-profit field (of course!) at the boys and girls club. so i can have two part time jobs to make one full time job. i don't do what i do to one day be rich, i do it to see the look on peoples faces when i am able to help them out in their tough times. although money wouldn't hurt! ;) i have to pay bills somehow! but really, i feel satisfied in my heart and know that for all the help i have received in my life i am trying to pay it forward with the work i do. so that is another thing important to me in my life right now.
my health is another important thing. as with many people, having good health is key. i am so thankful i have joined ww, i have lost 7.6lbs in two weeks!! yay! it helps to write everything down so you own up to what you are eating. i have moved my belt to a smaller notch and my jeans are getting big!!! i even feel a little better with these few pounds off. my lungs are getting better i hope. i was told as long as i keep taking my meds i will no longer be at risk for emphysema. i was told i may have it from the condition my lungs were in before the meds, how scary is that!! i am to young to have that! so i buckled down and started taking my meds and not skipping a day. i want to live to see all these cute kids grow up! children in my future may not happen, things are getting worse not staying better like they were. i think i am slowly becoming sort of ok with not having kids. there is always puppies to adopt. and of course children. i see my doc next week again to have the all important, nerve racking talk of what next. whatever happens it must be for a reason. i hate that saying more than anything, but it makes sense!! the HP must have other things in life for me to do.
i am missing some family members dearly at this point in life, so near some far. but i know one day we will be brought together again. i have an amazing husband who no matter how bad things get he is always my rock to lean on and always knows how to make me feel better. i am so glad the HP brought him into my life! even though at times i want to ring his neck, but everything in life can't be lollipops and sunshine.
i wish everyone the best for 2009 and on. i hope all your lives are filled with love, happiness and nothing short of goodness and health.
ta-ta! :)

I AM SO PROUD!!!

OUR NEW AND AMAZING PRESIDENT!!!! YAY AMERICA!!!

YAY OBAMA!!!

so i just watched oprah, and normally i don't, but today it was all about our new president so i had to! all i have to say is OMG!!!! i have never in my life felt so excited about our president and what he will do for our country then i do with Obama. i must admit this is only my second election to have voted, and boy i have never been so proud to vote this year. i really do feel that he is going to change america by helping us see what we can do to change ourselves. oprah, with all of her powers, has collaborated this beautiful song called America's Song, and for pete sakes it makes you all teary!! There is no video so i am unsure how to link it but if you go to oprah.com you can download it for free for today only. even if you don't want to download it, just listen to it and you will be proud you live in this country. that's all for now, i have to upload some pics of my very first chili attempt and it was amazing!!! kristina you have inspired me to cook more! and eat more since your blog is always so yummy!! :)
ta-ta!! :)

thank you....

after posting my last blog i have received and overwhelming response of love! and i didn't want an "oh pity me" kind of thing, what i got was pure love and support from people who i should have been leaning on in the first place. i may have been keeping it in to long, and not really using my amazing friends and family for support. that is just silly because i have a great support system!
i don't really make new years resolutions but i am now! as of 2009 i will NOT keep everything in and i WILL utilize the love and support of my family and friends. no more being silly about it by thinking they don't have time or wouldn't want to be bothered. so get ready to see and hear from me more often!!!
ta-ta! :)

it's been to long...

well it has been way to long since my last post!! sorry for all you hard core roja followers! lol!! i have been doing a ton of thinking and couch potatoing and yes even cheetos (karli they are my weakness!!) and felt the way some of you have ....and now its time to get up and stop feeling so damn sad!!!

with recent holiday news of my sister in law being pregnant (awesome) i had fallen into a little bit of a depression and still am trying to deal with these stupid girlie emotions. most of you who know me, know that i am having some hurdles to jump over to start a family. the more i am around children and hearing of friends and family getting prego, is really hurting my heart. i want nothing more than to have a family and be a mom. but the HP has other plans for me it seems and she hasn't run it by me yet! now, i don't by any means want to sound selfish, but for pete sakes this has been going on for 3 years and something needs to happen before i buy a patrillon puppies to fill the void!

as i watch all of my beautiful little cousins grow up and be as cute as they can be, i want to cry sometimes only because i would want my kids to grow up with them. unfortunately mother nature doesn't stop the growth process. i do know that one day, i hope, will be my turn and i can't wait (if you hadn't noticed!) but seriously, i am not getting younger and i don't want to start having kids when i am 40!! so i am on my last round of trying for a family this year and cross your fingers. not to hard, i don't want triplets!! i will also be joining weight watchers to get a hold of this up and down weight problem from being on hormones and being off of them and being depressed and so on. i have a really strong support system that i need to hold close, and not think that they are not around or don't have time for me, that's just me being silly!

so, here is to 2009 the year of nothing but goodness and joy for me and everyone around me. i love you all and thank you for listening. and an extra special thanks to the core support system i have, you know who you are, some of you have blogs too!!!

ta-ta! :)

nothing makes me happier than piggy slippers!!